All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
