I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Houston, we have a blender
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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