would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Alive.
So much puke
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
