the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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