I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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