He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
