If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
