You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
