I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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