Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
