kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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