Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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