It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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