do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
