I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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