Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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