so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize