Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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