toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
