I just gift wrapped bread.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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