I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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