It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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