dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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