I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize