if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
