My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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