flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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