I got chris browned last night
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's JV to your varsity
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
