I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
