the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish you could order shots online.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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