Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
