I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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