Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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