he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
