$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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