Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
