i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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