If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He felt like a one man threesome
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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