when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
