I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
