Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Bring me that man meat
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
