i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
