Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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