Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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