i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
