it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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