Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
