I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
handjob tips. give me some.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
