YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
