Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What a fucking waste of an outfit
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My pussy is not your playground.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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