Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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