flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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