I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
