To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
