sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
