Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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