help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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