Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize