My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
